Tribute to my mother Mary Ellen

Mary Ellen McCarthy was born 12 August 1924 in Pennsylvania, the second daughter to Jack and Molly. There were 5 more girls to be birthed at home in ensuing years with 6 sisters surviving into adulthood (in fact all have lived to be over 70.)

Mary Ellen rarely spoke about her childhood but had an enormous amount of love and respect for her parents and could not imagine children feeling any other way towards their parents. She attended secretarial school because the family could not afford to send her to nursing school. Her work as a secretary in an insurance firm was enjoyable and she often spoke of this job many years after it was over.

One can only imagine the difficulty of being 25 and unmarried in 1949. Mary Ellen’s older sister by one year had married during the war and had a 6 year old by the time Mary Ellen married Joe in 1949. To further challenge this woman who was programmed to have a family a late miscarriage and perhaps infertility meant that she did not have her first child until she was nearly 30. Three children and a hard working husband kept Mary Ellen busy with all of the domestic chores in the 1950-70s. She took her role as homemaker seriously and seemed to never consider outside employment either because she did not want it or it just wasn’t done in those days.

A volunteer role with the Catholic Service League buying baby clothes was a perfect opportunity for Mary Ellen to combine two of her talents, shopping and considering what a baby should wear. She loved this job and spoke of it often. The outfits she selected were what the babies were dressed in to meet their adoptive parents.

Involvement with family occupied the rest of Mary Ellen’s life. She had a few close friends but never looked hard to make new friends as life changed. Shopping, playing cards and travelling were her most important activities. She loved having time with family and always welcomed visitors.

When I think of all my mother’s positive qualities I reflect on the fact that she was fiercely loyal to her family especially her mother, husband, children and grandchildren. This is not to say that she agreed with their choices or got along with them in an easy manner but she did not give up and was always ready to have another conversation. She was a smart woman (a skilled Bridge player) and for one that had received little education, very capable.

 

I am most grateful to my mother for instilling me with the belief that I could do anything if I tried hard enough. While her life was confined by the attitudes of the time, her marriage and the Catholic church she always encouraged me to achieve. She could never understand and appreciate many of my life choices and did not stop trying to convince me to change some things in my life but she continued to show interest in what I was doing. 

May she rest in peace and have a safe, joyful journey for her soul. I love you mom.

 

Who Do I think I am??

A confronting question for this phase of my life. It started as "Who do you think I am?" and then Ruth suggested that I internalize that question which does make a lot more sense.

The thought comes up as people say, what do you do on Lady Elliot Island or they discuss my Caravan Park needs and I admit that I have a bed in the back of my car. I assume that I am dismissed, not given much respect or discounted as a worthwhile person all because my "station" in life has changed. No longer do I rely on a degree for my work, a partner for daily interaction, a grand house to call home or a certain future.

So, who do I think I am?  I think I am a conglomeration of all the people I have ever been and it won't stop here. I realise that one's "station" in life is not necessarily connected to who they are and is an imaginary place anyway.

I am a mother who poured her heart and soul into that task and is better for it. I am a friend that can add value to relationships (especially when I am not self absorbed, give me another month please). I am a daughter still grieving for the parents she never had and the parents she no longer has. I am a sister who waits patiently to be rediscovered.

I am an adventurer who sometimes needs a push to get on the road but often finds delight in discovering the unknown beautiful places the world has to offer. I am an intelligent, insightful and curious person that never stops learning and wants to give something back to the universe.  

I am a big hearted sometimes confused soul that searches for love and fulfilment. I am a hard working, stubborn idealist that always wants to believe that everything is going to turn out ok. And I am becoming me, every day, a little bit more like the person who I think I am.

Gratitude for whales

Today marked the 10th straight day of work for me and I am more than ready to fly to Hervey Bay tomorrow and have a rest. I am planning a trip up the coast to look around Bundaberg for a day or two and just enjoy my time off. The weather had been cool and rainy but has now changed to warm sun, coolish air and very blue skies.

I was fortunate to go on a sunset cruise the other evening and watch a few whales. A fire on the mainland made some magnificent cloud colours in the sky. I have been watching for meteors at night and have been rewarded with two spottings. The Perseids meteor shower will peak in the northern hemisphere between 9-12 August. May not be as good for those of us in the southern hemisphere but have a look and see if you can wish on a shooting star.

Merilyn introduced me to the concept of a gratitude journal and I am happy to be starting one of my own. I read an article that Google found for me talking about real benefits one can receive from this practice once a week. So here is the start of mine:

Today I saw whales breeching and fin slapping. I can't explain why whale spotting always fills me with awe and happiness but it does. Maybe because I always imagine creatures in the ocean even when I can't see them (which is 99% of the time I look at the ocean) it makes the 1% so special to see the beautiful blue water come alive with whales. Ocean gazing also makes me feel peaceful and connected to the planet. I am filled with gratitude that I have the time and place to see whales and the big blue.

A resort guest was very kind to me and asked what had brought me to the island. We've had a few conversations now and today she shared the JK Rowlings book, The Casual Vacancy. I have wanted to read it since it came out and now I shall have the opportunity. For this book, the guest, JK Rowlings who has brought me immense pleasure over the years and the time to read I am grateful.

Over the last month I have made a new friend, become closer to 2 of my cousins and reconnected with several old friends. While email is not as good as sitting face to face it has been wonderful to receive kind words of support from all of these people plus my constant friends. I am very grateful for all of you friends that have encouraged me to keep blogging, stay positive and let time pass. It is working and I am so much stronger than 1 month ago. THNX FRIENDS.

Technology makes even cool days pleasant

Yes even the Great Barrier Reef gets cool weather in the winter and today was one of those days. After the spectacular snorkel with mantas yesterday I was not tempted to enter the water today when the max air temperature was probably 18C.

As you may understand there is not a lot do on this island besides walk the coral beach, snorkel, scuba and work or relax. I have relied on technology to entertain me and have worked out Skype so that I had wonderful chats on both my days off. If you want to Skype with me send me an email and I'll try to be on at that time. So amazing that you can video call even between countries for free!!

Aside from Skype I have also used the library services to download books. I have appreciated both the books downloaded to my computer and the audio ones on my iPhone. I am now a member of 4 library systems and have rights to digital books at 3. Currently reading two books (computer glitch caused me to stop half way though one and then it was unavailable til now) The Book Thief and All the Pretty Horses. This was a nice treat today, to sit in a bit of sunshine and read.

The other technology contribution that is exercising my brain is Lumosity. You can have a free trial at www.lumosity.com  I have been playing at it for 10 months and love the challenges. From their website
"Scientists once believed that mental ability was fixed after childhood. But over the last few decades, neuroscientists have discovered that adults’ brains are constantly changing – growing new neurons and connections – in a process known as neuroplasticity. Lumosity takes advantage of the brain’s innate neuroplasticity to help shape it into a more effective, powerful organ.

Instead of teaching specific skills that may only be useful in specific areas, Lumosity targets core cognitive processes that underlie performance in many different areas. These processes include memory, attention and other abilities that are critical in the real world."
Hardy, J. & Scanlon, M., The Science Behind Lumosity. November, 2009.

I do wonder if they have rigged the scoring because you might not want to keep playing or subscribing if you were getting worse. I currently perform better than 80% of 50-54 year olds which makes me happy given my fears of poor memory, directional ability, etc.

So no wildlife to report today but technology makes it all fun.

Snorkeling with 50 manta rays

The first of my two days off (on island) turned cold and I did not expect to snorkel given the prediction of 2 meter ocean swells. As sometimes the case the prediction of the ocean swell was exaggerated or had not occurred yet so at 10:45 this morning I climbed aboard the glass bottom boat determined to brave the cold (19C?) and look at mantas from the boat. I dressed in my shortie wet suit just in case I wanted to snorkel and with mantas all around us I could not resist. Of course the water was warmer than the air and what a fabulous experience!!  I feel very fortunate to have such a great place to swim.

Manta rays were busy feeding on the plankton and came within an arms reach. Such graceful, mysterious looking creatures. Once again I want to share a little info on these fish that are hard to see most of the time and here I was watching one after the other swim next to me, below me and veer off course to avoid a collision with me. There is no danger, manta rays do not have the barb of the sting ray and since they are filter feeders they cannot bite you. 

Courtesy of Wikipedia (plus my comments), the species I am looking at is

 M. alfredi which reaches about 5.5 m wingtip to wingtip (18 ft).^[21] Dorsally, mantas are typically black or dark in color with pale markings on their "shoulders". Ventrally, they are usually white or pale with distinctive dark markings by which individual mantas can be recognized.^[8] (over 700 individuals photographed  around Lady Elliot and identified by Project Manta)
Mantas move through the water by the wing-like movements of their pectoral fins, which drive water backwards. Their large mouths are rectangular, and face forward as opposed to other ray and skate species with downward-facing mouths. Mantas must swim continuously to keep oxygenated water passing over their gills. Mantas track down prey with visual and olfactory senses. They have one of the highest brain-to-body mass ratios of all fish.

 

 

Manta alfredi group in the Maldives

6] ^[17] Manta rays may live for as long as 50 years.

 

Manta alfredi foraging with mouth opened wide and cephalic fins spread

As filter feeders, manta rays consume large quantities of zooplankton in the form of shrimp, krill and planktonic crabs. An individual manta eats about 13% of its body weight each week. When foraging, it slowly swims around its prey, herding it into a tight "ball" and then speeds through the bunched organisms with a wide-open mouth.^{[20] 0]} As many as fifty individual fish may gather at a single, plankton-rich feeding site.^[10] Mantas are themselves preyed upon by large sharks and by killer whales. They may also be bitten by cookiecutter sharks,^[22]:17 and harbor parasitic copepods.^[22]:14

Manta alfredi at a coral reef cleaning station with fish picking off parasites

Mantas visit cleaning stations on coral reefs for the removal of external parasites. The ray adopts a near-stationary position close to the coral surface for several minutes while the cleaner fish consume the attached organisms. Such visits most frequently occur when the tide is high.^[34]Individual mantas may revisit the same cleaning station or feeding area repeatedly^[35] and appear to have cognitive maps of their environment.^[23]
Mantas are found in tropical and sub-tropical waters in all the world's major oceans

TV Show Combo

As day follows day and I clean, change sheets, count pillow cases, vacuum and make origami towel arrangements I settle into a rhythm that feels good except for the aching bones, muscles, etc. I remember that once upon a time I was using a paid personal trainer to make me squat and move as I do now. I constantly hear “core on” in my head as my lower back complains knowing that a strong core saves your back.

The physical routine is pleasing as there is no time for thinking about anything other than the task at hand and sometimes the one just ahead. Today I worked alone for most of the day and it was a relief to not have to listen to someone talk all day long.

The nights are sometimes difficult as those who have experienced broken heartedness would know. Luckily I have some meditation tracks on my iPhone to assist with ridding my mind of thoughts that I cannot process right now. I tell myself that this is early days and all will be right in time. Shed a few tears for would have, could have, should have and move on.

Working on an island with such isolation (tv and phone limited) does come with some interesting people. Turns out there is somewhat of a culture of people who go from resort to resort to work. People here have worked at Kakadu, Heron Island, Dunk Island, Cradle Mountain, El Questro, etc. It does allow you to work without worry about car, accommodation, or staying on top of current affairs.

There are moments when I am working with the physical challenges, listening to conversation, observing, or absorbing information that I think this is like a combo reality TV show. Big Brother, Survivor, Biggest Loser, Farmer wants a wife, Undercover Boss, etc. I float around all of this as I am just an oldie here for a sea change.

The “kids” take it all quite seriously. One person was asked to leave recently, dramas in the dive shop, romances all around, people coming and going,  complaints that management is not listening / caring / understanding. All the usual work issues but 20 year olds working and living together, an interesting combination.

Had a chance to snorkel yesterday after work. Around noon there were over 100 mantas feeding. At 4:30 I saw no mantas but did see 2 green turtles and 1 loggerhead along with many fish. All interesting. In a few days I will snorkel during my day off and hope to finally observe the manta rays under the water. On the planes coming and going I have seen them from above the water. I also hope to see whales from the boat.

Time off in a caravan park

My 10 days of work ended soon enough as just about every part of my body was complaining from the physical exertion of cleaning, bending and hurrying from place to place. Off I went on the same little plane that took me to the island. This plane is one of the oldest in the "fleet" and not favoured by seasoned islanders. It was just the chef, the pilot and I on this flight that went straight to Hervey Bay. On take off I counted 8 manta rays one behind the other close to the shore.

The night before I left the island I attended a talk on Manta Rays by a French woman who has finished her PhD at University of Queensland and works in the Manta Project. http://www.uq.edu.au/ecology/project-manta (The aim (of Project Manta) is to define key drivers behind movements of large filter-feeding organisms, using the manta ray as a model system. An understanding of why animals occupy particular sites at particular times is important, especially in the face of climate change.) The author had lots of footage of her many dives around Lady Elliot showing the mantas and describing what they have learned about these relatively unstudied animals. It was very informative and convinced me that I must achieve my scuba cert so that I can do more than snorkel.

You may remember from my earlier post that I considered bunking with the Buddhists or staying in a worker's room offered at a small hotel by a generous man I met. In the end I realise that my journey is my own, I am not Buddhist and don't think this is the time for me to take up a religion. While it is nice to meet generous strangers it's also good to just figure it out on my own. So with all of that in mind I pulled my Honda without 3/4 of the back seat (left in Melbourne) and my new car mattress into a caravan park on the beach. The $26 per night backpacker special gave me a spot to park and use of the toilet block, kitchen, and laundry.

Night one was difficult as I did not have the usual physical exhaustion to keep me asleep all night. The sea was loud, bats were chirpy, the mattress too firm, the sleeping bag too hot and there was a bright light shining in on me. Second night much better as I was used to things and had invested in a sun visor to keep the light from entering the car. Plenty of caravaners and backpackers driving vans around to know that many people enjoy this mode of travel.

There was plenty to do whilst on my break. Living out of a car requires a bit of organisation that took time. I walked the beach and met this pelican. Enjoyed a few hours in the local library working at my computer and learned to use my iPhone as a personal hotspot. Visited the doctor who suggested I stop stressing about my blood pressure and was quite dismayed that I was handling all the changes in my life without an antidepressant and no friends on the island. I thanked him for his concern and said that I had email contact with many supportive friends and that the island was good for me.

And good for me it is. As I boarded the flight it even felt a little like coming home. The pilot was the same one from my first trip over and very friendly. He asked me to sit next to him so I had the co pilots seat. About 6 whales greeted us when we got close to the island and the pilot made a circle above them for all to see. Then a few mantas just off the island and I was home.

The pilot gave me the good news that 9 of the Orcas that had been "trapped" in the shallows for over a week made it to open sea. He had flown over them last Thursday. A total of 4 whales died from the beaching and everyone is still amazed that there were Orcas in Hervey Bay.

New Room and a purposeful life

I knew the guest room privilege was for a limited time and when given a choice of rooms, I picked "The Lodge" over living in a staff house with 8 other people (kids). As I explained to the assistant manager, "I am old enough to be everyone's mother and they did not come here to have their mother along." The Lodge is a long row of rooms that open onto an outdoors corridor. There are about 8 rooms and one toilet, one shower. Luckily a newly refurbished toilet block of "day guest" toilets/showers is right next door. I think I am the only woman but it does not matter because it is just a room to sleep in. Complete with bed, storage cupboard and 2 windows that let the sea breeze come through. All good but most of you would describe this as primitive living.

My good friend Merilyn used to occasionally accuse me of being a princess due to my attitude or expectation. She has only known me for the last 4 years and there have been reasons for her to use that term. Since arriving and beginning this new life, there have been several times that I have thought, "Who you calling princess now? " and I know Merilyn would agree.

This too shall pass, helps me through lots of situations and another friend Moira has reminded me of this. Thank you to all of my friends (cousins included) for support, words of encouragement, post and email. Staying in touch is so important for me now.

No whales for 2-3 days, at least not that I have seen. Snorkelers report plenty of turtles and manta rays but the weather has not been inviting me to snorkel. Maybe tomorrow. Every day is at least 20C so no complaints.

The Milky Way and my routine

When was the last time you gazed upon the night sky replete with bright stars and also the background fuzz of the Milky Way? I suspect it is far too long since you had the opportunity to see the heavens as nature displays them. Our city light pollution often prevents us from seeing all but the brightest stars and a few planets.

The last two nights I have taken the time to look at the stars and wonder about how immense this galaxy is. It dwarfs the significance of one life or a problem in that life. If I lose perspective this exercise seems to wake me up to the idea that “All we are is dust in the wind”. So how to move forward with love, leaving hurt, pain and chaos behind? One breath, one step, one day at a time is all I know how to do.

My schedule is becoming a routine. So far it is comforting but given my hatred of scheduled life I am not sure how long I will like it. For now I crave it and know that I am in the right place. It goes like this:

4am Wake up, remember where I am and that I can sleep longer

6am Wake, start to stretch and think about getting up, it is light outside.

6:30 Get up, dress in uniform shirt and shorts

7:00 Breakfast at restaurant, all food is buffet

7:30 Get wifi on my phone to see if anyone sent me an email

8:00 Start work

10:00 Break for 10 minutes. 1 Coke Zero (I have reduced to this)

12:00 Lunch for 30 minutes

3:00 Afternoon tea

4:30 Stop work, go snorkel, swim in pool, walk, do laundry, etc.

5:30 Shower and get ready for dinner

6:00 Use computer to read email, news. Blog.etc. while having a beer

6:30 Dinner

7:30 Back to room for reading or visit beach to see stars

8:30 Light out time for me to sleep, the work is exhausting

 

There are of course many people to talk to. Almost all of the women are in their teens or early 20s. There are a few around 30. Clearly I am the oldest woman. Lots of men in their 20s but at least 5 in their 40-60s. They seem more comfortable talking to me than the youngsters. About half of the people are Aussies and the other half from Ireland, Scotland, England and a few other nationalities.  

 

Working in paradise

Many years ago I travelled from Ohio to attend a winter meeting in San Diego. I still remember sitting in a conference room that overlooked the ocean, trying to learn about electroporation. For those of you that have not been so fortunate to be tutored on electroporation it is usually used in molecular biology as a way of introducing some substance into a cell, such as loading it with a molecular probe, a drug that can change the cell's function, or a piece of coding DNA. ^{( as you can tell I consulted my friend Wikipedia to give you the correct info).}

The session was extremely painful to me as I had come from cold, grey rain or snow and was looking at warm weather, blue skies, beautiful crashing surf and I was stuck in a room listening to someone who knew more about this boring subject than you would ever care to hear. I had a conversation with my sister (who has almost always lived in the San Diego area) around the idea that I could not live in such a wonderful climate because I would never want to work. She claimed that you could work because you knew that the beautiful day would be repeated again and a. gain and you would enjoy it on your free day. Still I returned to Ohio and worked my little heart out.

So today as I made beds, swept floors and cleaned bathrooms I heard on the 2 way radio info from the dive boat or the glass bottom boat that there were whales, turtles, dolphins and mantas all around them. I went on with my work knowing that it would be there for me when I was free. Sure enough at lunch I watched whales breach just beyond the shore break and donned my snorkel gear as soon as work was over to see 2 green turtles, lots of interesting fish and more whales. I think Tina was right.

The work is exhausting and I hope this old body is up for it. It is great that most guests are quite happy with their experience and the kids are rapt with their sightings and encounters. I spoke to a family at lunch where a 8 yr old girl told me she had touched a turtle while snorkelling. Her mother added, "where we come from you can't touch anything". I ask her where that was and she said California. I told her, this is Australia you can touch everything but be careful, some of it will kill you. Another family returned to their room and they had asked via a card for a bed to be made up. They left a $2 coin and I told them (after hearing the American accent), this is Australia you do not need to tip for anything.

Another day in paradise and no complaints from me.
PS I f you add your email at the top of the blog where it asks for email it should notify you every time I post. Thanks for reading, it is such s great way to communicate.

First Day On the Job

My flight departed as planned at 8am with my bike hidden under my mattress in the back of the car and the car safely parked in the employee car park at the airport. The plane had room for 10 including the pilot. We flew from Hervey Bay to Bundaberg to pick up one person who I later learned was coming to fix the desalination unit.

I scanned the ocean for whales as the pilot had suggested there were many about and only saw the bluest water until close to the island when I could plainly see about 20 huge manta rays. As I toured the island with the assistant manager in a golf buggy we saw 4 humpbacks frolicking from the beach. This was in a 10 minute time frame and apparently it was quite a day for whales with them approaching the dive boat so close that when the whale blew, its fishy moist breath went all over those aboard. I can’t wait to see a manta while I am snorkelling, but I am here to work!! I must invest in some good binoculars and a camera to get some nice photos to show you. Whale spotting and manta ray observations while on the clock is the job for me!!

Here is a stock photo of a manta ray.

There are 41 “rooms” (portable cabin set up as 3 hotel rooms or eco tents or a few 2BR units) and they all get serviced daily although linens changed only every 3 days. Seems funny that this is an eco resort and the Ramada I was staying in at Hervey Bay said they were ecologically minded so they would only service your room on check out. If anyone has a thought on how often you want your hotel room serviced please comment. One thing they want me to do as “head of housekeeping” is make improvements. There is a lot of sand here so that is certainly a concern. My mother was a fanatic about not having sand in her car or house. As a beach lover I accept sand as part of the experience but know that it can get on your nerves when you have it in the bed.

I am afraid that some staff may wonder about my qualifications as I spent part of the day looking at You Tube for housekeeping info. One video was on making a bed. It’s not rocket science but if there is a more effective way I know I’ll find it on You Tube. Orientation was very informal the only shock is the alcohol monitor that you must blow into every morning before starting work. I am happy to know that I can test myself after 2 beers and find out exactly how long I have to wait until I can legally drive (just For My Info when I return to mainland). There is nothing here except this resort, no cars, nothing else. You can circumnavigate the island in 30 minutes

I don’t have my permanent staff room yet and so for the next few nights I am in a guest room with a fantastic view of the surf from my bed and 30 metres to the water. Time to get used to the roar of the surf because it is going to be with me for the next few months. Seems lots of staff have just adopted the island as home and stayed for 3, 4, 5 years. Oh I would miss Chloe !! Of course Morgan can come visit. And so can you friends!! It is paradise if you snorkel or dive. Not sure if there is TV reception anywhere. No TVs in rooms. Internet is slow. What happened to the NBN for every Aus locale?? No mobile coverage.

Day One of work, Excellent! If this sounds too good to be true there is an immediate opening in housekeeping so you too could change your life for 3 or 6 months or who knows how long.

A flight that left from Coolangatta took the time to circle the Orcas that are trying to find their way out of the Great Sandy Straits. There was a pod of 7-11 Orcas that found themselves on the inland side of Fraser Island yesterday. Two orcas were found dead and 7 others were beached but lived to get floated again at high tide. I will have to check the internet to see what has happened and I pray these beautiful creatures can find their way back to deep water. After I just wrote the other day about Orcas it was shocking to see this on the news. Orcas have never been seen in Hervey Bay before but it is known that they come north to feed on humpback calves.  Nature - beautiful, amazing and cruel just like life.

 

Cycling, Buddhism and Hervey Bay

Settling into Hervey Bay has raised my confidence and sparked my curiosity. I have had two wonderful cycling journeys up the coast. In the main part of town their is a fair bit of dodging walkers but the rest of the ride has been peaceful and easy as the bike path allows one to think rather than worry about cars. I am just getting back into riding shape and taking it easy to avoid taking any pain over to the island with me. I am so glad I brought my bike!!


My fitness routine is also starting to use a gift Morgan gave me years ago. It is a Resistance Cord and Workout DVD. Amazing how much exercise you can get from a 30 minute low impact session with a resistance cord. If I can achieve the body tone of the instructors all will be worth it. I'm still waiting for the sun to shine long enough to tempt me to the pool. A few walks along the beach have helped me to remember that there is a reef out there. See pic of all the coral pieces.

Hervey Bay is like many seaside Australian towns I've visited. The old, tired looking 2 story hotel and motels are slowly being razed to make way for 4 and 5 story modern buildings. Like most of Australia all of the beach is public land so almost nothing is built right on the beach. (for the benefit of American readers that have not seen this). There are caravan parks on the beach and most seem to be busy with the southerners that came north for the winter. I've never been tempted to try the caravan life but with a nice foam bed in the back of my Honda I will stay in a park or two to have the safety of neighbours and the convenience of kitchen and shower. I joined the library so I will have a place to go and settle in to books, A/C and internet. 

I am trying to find some good options for my time off in Hervey Bay. I will work 10 days on the island then come back to the mainland for 4. With the small wage I earn on the island $100 per night hotels will be a rarity. A Buddhist shop advertising yoga/meditation/accommodation along the beach road looked promising so I stopped in. Khema, a Canadian was very nice and told me they only put up the accomodation sign to please the council but since she had a good feel from me it was a possibility. I went and meditated with Khema and a young guy this morning (seems their 7am meditation has not attracted many others). It was a very pleasant meditation and it looks like there are several sleeping rooms and common area in a clean building. I will go tomorrow morning and meet others. I am not sure that I will like communal living but open to trying.

Thanks for reading my blog of my adventure. Drop me an email and let me know how things are in your life. I am very interested.

Courage and time to wait for echidnas

The final day of driving had me in better spirits and when I spied a sign on the Bunya Highway for the Dingo Fence I took the turn off. I have of course heard of the Rabbit Proof Fence but wondered if this was a fence keeping dingos in or out. I was hoping to see a few dingos.

When I finally found a road that might lead to the Dingo Fence (signage was poor) I hesitated. It was a dirt road, there was no mobile coverage and it was the middle of nowhere. This is the part of flying solo that I dislike. Fear that prevents me from discovering the wonderful world. So I thought of advise from my friend Ruth (quoting John Wayne that "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.") I saddled up and drove down the dirt road for a couple kms and then parked and walked for a few kms.

The Dingo Fence is in place to keep dingos out of southern Queensland. I am not sure about the effectiveness because I suspect Chloe could get over that fence! The stop was well worth the effort. The birds were cheering me on, a little exercise was welcome after 4 days of driving and a I got a close up look at an echidna. I appreciate the privilege of time that I have right now. So much of my life I have been time poor and now I have hours, even days to kill. I stopped to watch the echidna who hunkered down when s/he heard me. Seems the echidna had even more time than I did. Note to self, you're in Queensland now, no walking without a hat.

Purchasing local mandarins and peanuts from a roadside stand was a treat. Reached Hervey Bay as it started to rain but once again with time on my side I am not worried about missing the sunshine. The Ramada is a treat where I will be very comfortable until I leave for Lady Elliot on 4 July.

This sign may be the best indicator for me of my journey

Day 3 - My Love of Whales

Travelling from Coonabarabran to Dalby did not have many points of interest but I was grateful for the sunshine and clear road. Listening to the news of Aus tralia in the Intl Court of Justice made me think about whales and my hopes that I will see some humpbacks while I am up North. 

I still remember my excitement at the prospect of seeing whales on a trip to Cape Cod in my early 20s. I had never had the opportunity to see a whale before this and I don’t remember if one was spotted on that trip but I was forever drawn to learning about and loving whales. I like dolphins but I love whales.

Over the years I have whale watched numerous times in waters off California, Washington state, Queensland, Western Australia, and Victoria.  Sightings have mainly been from boats but also from land. My favourite whales are orcas but Australia is a better place to see humpbacks.

One whale sighting was from the glass bottom boat on Lady Elliot Island when I visited 10 years ago. Hervey Bay is a popular whale watching spot because Humpback whales migrate annually between June and August from polar feeding grounds to tropical calving and mating areas at the Great Barrier Reef. Then from August to the end of October, the whales begin returning to the Antarctic and stopping over in Hervey Bay for a long rest before their big journey.

My love of whales is the reason I oppose whaling and am interested in the news this week. Australia and Japan are trying to settle their differences over whaling in the Southern Ocean in the International Court of Justice. Australia has argued that there is no meaningful scientific information being gained from the data collected and whaling should stop. Japan will respond next week. Stay tuned.

 

Day 2 - 27 June

Driving from Narrandera to Coonabarabran was easier than yesterday's trip and very green for the first few hours. The Australian landscape was beautiful and a white horse led the way. I passed the truck pulling the horse float 4 times but each time I stopped for rest I would end up behind the white horse again. Glad to have a mascot. 

It was interesting to see the number of fox that are dying on the roadside indicating the number of fox that must be living. Wikipedia says there are 7.2 million red foxes in Australia!!

The weather did not encourage a stop in Parkes to visit The Big Dish but I was able to see it from the main road. Maybe on the return trip.

I read an account of a woman that lost her baby. Certainly more sadness than I have ever had to bear. She wrote 
How do you survive the reality of it?
You rest, you grieve, you reach out, you recover, you trust, you remember, you hope and you accept. You gravitate to kindness, to help and you relinquish control over the things you can't govern. You assume that life is not out there to get you - it's there to teach you and to introduce you to yourself. You love because it's sweeter than bitterness. And you realise that people are incredible, resilient, willing and capable, and that you are one of them


Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/national/the-children-ive-never-known-20130617-2ocz6.html#ixzz2XQFa5IgSRead more: http://www.theage.com.au/national/the-children-ive-never-known-20130617-2ocz6.html#ixzz2XQEvhStI  

Day 1 - 26 June

26 June

Trying to finish up packing my things in the house and getting the car packed with what needed to go north was helpful in that I could not get too emotional. Having to say goodbye to Chloe was dangerous to my calm and made easier by giving her a marrow bone as she could not have cared less that I was leaving.

 

All of my plans for a neat, organised car packed with minimal belongings were laughable as in the end I threw boxes, suitcases and wet clothes in the car to be sorted at a later time on the trip. This brought to mind my dad's ability to pack and organise and that he might be turning in his grave. Following that thought I realised my mom was also agitating the grave as I had chosen pillowcases for the trip that I just took from her home after her death last month. They are engraved with MEK, her initials and ironed as she did with good pillowcases. Clearly not what she would have sent on a road trip.

 

Stopping for an errand presented the opportunity to pick up a pink iced donut which seemed appropriate. My fearless riding/sailing friend Sue used to eat a pink donut when we stopped in Frankston on rides to propel her home. I needed the pink donut to propel me north and to think that Sue was riding along with me. Singing "Be Not Afraid" a hymn that helps me to do just that was also helpful. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9zAhe5Y4wE Note, I do not think it is Jesus on the assist but there is comfort when I know that I am not as alone as it seems.

 

The road was easy, the sun welcoming and a book on my iPhone (Mao's Last Dancer) with a connection to the speakers kept me from overthinking and being consumed by grief. Narrandera seems quaint and abandoned but colourful Christmas lights on the town strip makes it cheerful. Ready to get on the road and see what Day 2 holds.