Tribute to my mother Mary Ellen

Mary Ellen McCarthy was born 12 August 1924 in Pennsylvania, the second daughter to Jack and Molly. There were 5 more girls to be birthed at home in ensuing years with 6 sisters surviving into adulthood (in fact all have lived to be over 70.)

Mary Ellen rarely spoke about her childhood but had an enormous amount of love and respect for her parents and could not imagine children feeling any other way towards their parents. She attended secretarial school because the family could not afford to send her to nursing school. Her work as a secretary in an insurance firm was enjoyable and she often spoke of this job many years after it was over.

One can only imagine the difficulty of being 25 and unmarried in 1949. Mary Ellen’s older sister by one year had married during the war and had a 6 year old by the time Mary Ellen married Joe in 1949. To further challenge this woman who was programmed to have a family a late miscarriage and perhaps infertility meant that she did not have her first child until she was nearly 30. Three children and a hard working husband kept Mary Ellen busy with all of the domestic chores in the 1950-70s. She took her role as homemaker seriously and seemed to never consider outside employment either because she did not want it or it just wasn’t done in those days.

A volunteer role with the Catholic Service League buying baby clothes was a perfect opportunity for Mary Ellen to combine two of her talents, shopping and considering what a baby should wear. She loved this job and spoke of it often. The outfits she selected were what the babies were dressed in to meet their adoptive parents.

Involvement with family occupied the rest of Mary Ellen’s life. She had a few close friends but never looked hard to make new friends as life changed. Shopping, playing cards and travelling were her most important activities. She loved having time with family and always welcomed visitors.

When I think of all my mother’s positive qualities I reflect on the fact that she was fiercely loyal to her family especially her mother, husband, children and grandchildren. This is not to say that she agreed with their choices or got along with them in an easy manner but she did not give up and was always ready to have another conversation. She was a smart woman (a skilled Bridge player) and for one that had received little education, very capable.

 

I am most grateful to my mother for instilling me with the belief that I could do anything if I tried hard enough. While her life was confined by the attitudes of the time, her marriage and the Catholic church she always encouraged me to achieve. She could never understand and appreciate many of my life choices and did not stop trying to convince me to change some things in my life but she continued to show interest in what I was doing. 

May she rest in peace and have a safe, joyful journey for her soul. I love you mom.