26 June
Trying to finish up packing my things in the house and getting the car packed with what needed to go north was helpful in that I could not get too emotional. Having to say goodbye to Chloe was dangerous to my calm and made easier by giving her a marrow bone as she could not have cared less that I was leaving.
All of my plans for a neat, organised car packed with minimal belongings were laughable as in the end I threw boxes, suitcases and wet clothes in the car to be sorted at a later time on the trip. This brought to mind my dad's ability to pack and organise and that he might be turning in his grave. Following that thought I realised my mom was also agitating the grave as I had chosen pillowcases for the trip that I just took from her home after her death last month. They are engraved with MEK, her initials and ironed as she did with good pillowcases. Clearly not what she would have sent on a road trip.
Stopping for an errand presented the opportunity to pick up a pink iced donut which seemed appropriate. My fearless riding/sailing friend Sue used to eat a pink donut when we stopped in Frankston on rides to propel her home. I needed the pink donut to propel me north and to think that Sue was riding along with me. Singing "Be Not Afraid" a hymn that helps me to do just that was also helpful. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9zAhe5Y4wE Note, I do not think it is Jesus on the assist but there is comfort when I know that I am not as alone as it seems.
The road was easy, the sun welcoming and a book on my iPhone (Mao's Last Dancer) with a connection to the speakers kept me from overthinking and being consumed by grief. Narrandera seems quaint and abandoned but colourful Christmas lights on the town strip makes it cheerful. Ready to get on the road and see what Day 2 holds.
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